I’m sorry, Jennipher. I really am. I didn’t mean to forget about you like this. And I feel absolutely horrible for what I’ve done to you. I left you for her more than two months ago, and now I find you, cold and sick, hiding in my bedroom. I apologize from the bottom of my heart.
It all started this morning…I found you under the chair in my bedroom, and you looked positively horrible. You felt so cold and you were so green that I thought you would vomit on me any second.
When I proceeded to turn you on, the first song that you played for me was “Wish Me Well (You Can Go To Hell)” by the Bouncing Souls, and then “It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay” from that remix EP that I bought in eighth grade. I was saddened.
I’m hoping that it brought you temporary solace to discover that I actually needed your help with something, though. I needed your earbuds! I lost Debbie McStinkerton’s awesome new earbuds last night, leaving me with no way to privately enjoy my music. I was desperate, so I grabbed the nasty old earbuds off of you to temporarily lend to Debbie. I know you feel like I’m throwing you back on the street again, but Debbie is so happy now!
And besides, I’ve decided to start using you to backup my important files so that you don’t feel so useless anymore. Is that an alright compromise?
See? Now we’re all one big, happy Apple family.
One Comment
okay. y did u name ur apple merchandise???
it’s a bit creepy. just a bit.
and this post made me laugh sooo hard