Tag Archive for 'emotions'

Validation!

Last night, I had my moment of validity, a.k.a. my “So Much Better” moment (if we can speak in Legally Blonde terminology)!  I had been totally nervous and scared of messing up majorly for the show that I’m working on right now, but evidently I am doing a great job and not messing up majorly and burning the show down to the ground!  I love moments like this (some people wait a lifetime! was that a bad music joke?). :]

I went out to lunch with Cara today and we had the best time.  It was awesome for us to catch up on what was going on with each other and to spill the beans on some stuff that we had been holding in for way too long.  I feel so much better about a ton of stuff now.  We literally sat at Panera for four hours and just dished it to eachother and it was fantastic.

On Loneliness

“Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.” Dag Hammarskjold

“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the spaces between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” Maya Angelou

“One may have a blazing hearth in one’s soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it.” Van Gogh

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POTD: Election 2008

I basically lost EVERY position that I took before the election (President, Prop 8, Question 2, etc.). I’m surprised that I dragged myself out of bed this morning. More coming tomorrow.

Happy Halloween

I dance around this empty house,
Tear us down,
Throw you out.
Screaming down the halls,
Spinning all around and now we fall.

Pictures framing up the past
Your taunting smirk behind the glass.
This museum full of ash,
Once a tickle
Now a rash.

This used to be a funhouse
But now it’s full of evil clowns.
It’s time to start the countdown,
I’m gonna burn it down down down,
I’m gonna burn it down.

9, 8, 7, 6 5 4, 3, 2, 1, fun!

Echoes knocking on locked doors
All the laughter from before.
I’d rather live out on the street
Than in this haunted memory.

I’ve called the movers,
Called the maids,
We’ll try to exorcise this place.
Drag my mattress to the yard
Crumble tumble house of cards!

This used to be a funhouse
But now it’s full of evil clowns
It’s time to start the countdown
I’m gonna burn it down down down
I’m gonna burn it down

This used to be a funhouse
But now it’s full of evil clowns.
It’s time to start the countdown,
I’m gonna burn it down down down,
I’m gonna burn it down.

9, 8, 7, 6 5 4, 3, 2, 1, fun!

Oh, I’m crawling through the doggy door,
My key don’t fit my life no more.
I’ll change the drapes,
I’ll break the plates,
I’ll find a new place and
Burn this f**ker down!

9, 8, 7, 6 5 4, 3, 2, 1, fun!

This used to be a funhouse
But now it’s full of evil clowns.
It’s time to start the countdown,
I’m gonna burn it down down down,
I’m gonna burn it down.

I’m gonna burn it down.

This song is especially relevant to me right now.  Happy Halloween!

A Long Week

This has been a long week.  And this long week has not a good week.  I’m so glad that it’s almost Friday.

A Royal Disaster

Dear Holly,

Today did not turn out as planned. :(

I was hoping to walk up to the school, get my sister, and then rendezvous with you on the way home and stare at you lovingly.  That plan immediately hit the fan.

I saw you as I was walking up to the school (you were walking back- you had already collected your demon children), so I hauled it all the way to my sister’s school, grabbed her, ran through the parking lot dodging traffic like James Bond, and finally caught up to you (and by that I mean I was ten feet behind you so my loving stares could commence).  Then, the unthinkable happened.  A stupid little kid’s shoes BOTH came untied SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Being the loving, gracious, passionate person that you are, you leaned down to tie his shoes.  Honey, I don’t know what you were doing down there but it look way longer than expected because my sister and I had to walk past you and when we looked back you were still helping that little devil.  So then, I tried to walk very slowly so that we would again meet up at the crossing guard, but my sister decided that she wanted to actually walk at a normal human speed today (instead of the usual snail/turtle speed to which I am accustomed) and we had to cross at the intersection with the crossing guard while you were still way back.  And we lost you.

Once across the street, I tried to stall and walk super slowly to let you catch up to us, which was starting to work until my mother pulled up next to us because she had decided to leave work early and drove us the rest of the way home.

I am heartbroken.  When will I see you again?  Surely not until next week?  Or maybe even the week after?  Goodness!

Affectionately,

Danny

P.S. – Although I will be hanging out with another blonde bombshell tomorrow to heal my wounded heart and my injured soul, we are still an item. :)

Fading

A lot of crazy stuff has gone down this week.  I’ve been a walking train wreck that’s been happy and sad and distraught and confused and angry and betrayed and so much more.  I’m just not sure anymore.

Tired of everything around me.
I smile
But I don’t feel a thing, no.

I’m so far from where I need to be,
I’ve given up on faith, on everything.
All I want, all I need
Is some peace.

There’s a hole
Inside of me.
It’s so cold
Slowly killing me.

Secrets eating at the core of me,
Shut off,
Trusting all the lies I breathe.

I’m so far from where I need to be,
I’ve given up on faith, on everything.
All I want, all I need
Is some peace.

Falling Apart

I forgot what this is all about.
Lost, surrounded by a storm of doubt.
I make it so hard
Hard enough to keep it up.
And I can’t give in
To what they want,
And I’m not gonna.

I wanna live like music;
Songs about justice,
Songs about love,
Songs about freedom,
And never giving up.
I wanna live like music.

I’m out of touch with who I am
Now, it’s gotten way outta hand.
I spread too thin
And it’s hard enough to zero in
On the heart of it,
The soul of it
And now I know that.

I wanna live like music;
Songs about justice,
Songs about love,
Songs about freedom,
And never giving up.
I wanna live like music.

Alexz Johnson – Live Like Music

Sappy Pappy

Okay, I’ll admit it: Oprah’s Big Give made me misty-eyed this week. So did Jericho last week when Bonnie died. As did Rent over the weekend.  But they were all pretty intense, so there.

I think I’ve finally lost it.