Tag Archive for 'sadmadandangry'

Time To Disconnected The Cable, Pt. 2

So the primetime lineups for next year are finally out, and I am pissed.  I understand that shows can’t live on forever, but it seems that the majority of the shows that were caneled were canceled not because of their quality but because of their cost while other shows that sucked were kept on.

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I’m very upset and disappointed that Samantha Who?, Kath & Kim, In The Motherhood, Pushing Daisies, and The Unusuals were canceled while ABC decided to keept Scrubs alive on life support (no pun intended), Better Off Ted was saved (

that show is painful, I wanted to love her but Portia del Rossi just didn’t deliver for me), and there are like, seventeen different incarnations of CSI and Law and Order still on.  Is this a joke?

Samantha Who? was one of the best shows on television.  It was witty, well-written, and a pleasure to watch.  The characters were loveable and relateable and Christina Applegate was a fantastic lead.  ABC flat-out said that it was canceled because it was too expensive and that they didn’t want it to come to this.

Kath & Kim was another hilarious show, but it seemed to be pretty polarizing.  A lot of people compared it to the Aussie version which probably ultimately caused its demise.  Although they were the same show, each version had a different style of humor and it was innapropriate to compare them both.

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In The Motherhood was a diamon in the ruff – Megan Mullally and Cheryl Hines were entertaining and hilarious, but I felt like Jessica St. Claire seemed contrived and unrealistic.  That being said, the whole premise of the series was fresh and original and it was otherwise very well-done.  This one will be missed.

I really liked The Unusuals, too, but not until I actually watched an episode.  The promos for the show made it look really freaky and “out there” (almost Sci-Fi) but it was a lot more…normal that it was advertised.  I thought, based on the promos, that it was some stupid scifi show, but I liked it a lot when I actually watched an episode.

Now, all of that being said, there are many shows that I am glad to see returning: Grey’s Anatomy, Lost, Ugly Betty (although I am upset to see this moved to Fridays), The Biggest Loser, The Office, and Parks and Recreation.

On Loneliness

“Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.” Dag Hammarskjold

“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the spaces between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” Maya Angelou

“One may have a blazing hearth in one’s soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it.” Van Gogh

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Fading

A lot of crazy stuff has gone down this week.  I’ve been a walking train wreck that’s been happy and sad and distraught and confused and angry and betrayed and so much more.  I’m just not sure anymore.

Tired of everything around me.
I smile
But I don’t feel a thing, no.

I’m so far from where I need to be,
I’ve given up on faith, on everything.
All I want, all I need
Is some peace.

There’s a hole
Inside of me.
It’s so cold
Slowly killing me.

Secrets eating at the core of me,
Shut off,
Trusting all the lies I breathe.

I’m so far from where I need to be,
I’ve given up on faith, on everything.
All I want, all I need
Is some peace.

Falling Apart

I forgot what this is all about.
Lost, surrounded by a storm of doubt.
I make it so hard
Hard enough to keep it up.
And I can’t give in
To what they want,
And I’m not gonna.

I wanna live like music;
Songs about justice,
Songs about love,
Songs about freedom,
And never giving up.
I wanna live like music.

I’m out of touch with who I am
Now, it’s gotten way outta hand.
I spread too thin
And it’s hard enough to zero in
On the heart of it,
The soul of it
And now I know that.

I wanna live like music;
Songs about justice,
Songs about love,
Songs about freedom,
And never giving up.
I wanna live like music.

Alexz Johnson – Live Like Music

OH MY GOD.

I just broke my blog. Like majorly.

I got an email the other day saying that I was using too much disk space (in other words, I had uploaded too many files). I went into FTP to try and delete some of them, and in the process I deleted all of my files by accident. Shitfuckhelldamn.

My databases are alright, but everything else (including all of my image uploads) is toast. Shoot me.

Mr. Mom

It seems that my life has become the epitome of that movie. Ever since my parents went back to work full-time, I’ve had to pick up the majority of their responsibilities and daily duties so that they are free to “bring home the bacon” and not have to worry about coming home to a disaster of a house.

My dad has been working full-time ever since I can remember, but my mom didn’t go back to work as the editor of a widely successful parenting magazine and a startup lifestyle magazine full-time until the end of freshman year. It wasn’t too much of a hassle to do all of her daytime chores during the summer because, with the exception of rehearsals, I had almost nothing else that I had to be doing. I had enough spare time to do all of her stuff and more, so everything worked out fine.

Ever since school has started, however, it’s been kind of a different story. I have so much work to do during the day that I come home physically and emotionally exhausted, and on top of all of that frustration and exhaustion I have homework to do, studying, rehearsals, practices, etc. Take all of that and add on caring for two sisters, making meals, keeping the peace, and cleaning, and you’ve got another whole story. I feel like Christmas was the first period of “me time” that I’ve had since August, and although I enjoyed it, I’m still left feeling drained.

My grades in school don’t seem to be bearing the consequences yet; I have “B”’s in Algebra (expected), Government (again, expected), and English (yeah…I expected this one, too), and a “C” in Chemistry. The Chem. grade is a 79%, so I’m hoping that I can raise that up in the next two weeks before grades are due, but other than that I’m mostly pleased with my grades. Drama class makes me want to shoot myself, but that’s for different reasons. (I’m not taking it next year. I can’t wait!)

It’s not that I don’t like doing all of this stuff or I’m too lazy to help out, it’s just that I can see that it’s starting to take its toll on me. I treasure the hour that I have alone before my sister gets home from school, because I don’t have any other quiet time. I feel like I’m working two full-time jobs…I’m spread too thin.

And if you need any more evidence that I’m turning into a housewife, I just felt so frustrated and stressed out that I baked a cake as a stress reliever. It takes a real man to admit to that!

Feeling Powerless

I stood there, motionless, as she screamed for help. I was frozen in time, and I didn’t realize what was going on; I thought she was joking! Unable to move, I slowly backed away, my heart pounding. “Oh, God…”.

I never want to have that feeling again.

I’m Done.

Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I’ve start
But can’t complete

Listen, to the sound from deep within
It’s only beginning
To find release

The time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won’t listen.

Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I’m not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Now I’m done believing you
You don’t know what I’m feeling
I’m more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..

You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I’d thought had died
So long ago

Oh I’m screaming out, for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won’t
Listen…

I don’t know where I belong
But I’ll be moving on
If you don’t….
If you won’t….

Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I’ve start
But I will complete

Oh,
Now I’m done believing you
You don’t know what I’m feeling
I’m more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my own…

L.A. Times Map of Los Angeles Wildfires

Map from the LA Times depicting locations of all of the various wildfires that have broken out since the weekend. Scary. :( via Scoble.

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